Pops and I decided to find out the sex of both our children. I was certain I wanted to know although I think Poppy wouldn’t have minded a surprise.
I really wanted a boy as a first child. I had my heart set on it. I mean, who doesn’t want a little mini-me?
I remember the 20 week scan vaguely for our first but I remember it completely hitting home that we were having a baby. This shits getting real! I was a little shocked that it was going to be a girl, I’m not sure why. Of course I was happy either way as long as the baby was healthy.
After it sinking in having a baby and more importantly a baby girl I got very used to the idea. I’m sure Poppy was happy because she got to buy dresses and all sorts of pretty clothes.
However, once she was born, I was completely besotted by her. I cannot believe to explain the instant love and protection you can have for someone. It’s crazy. At that precise moment I laid eyes on my daughter in the delivery theatre, it changed my life!
As time went on I grew to love our little girl more and more and it was great to have a daughter. We always thought we’d have a Tom boy little girl because Poppy was a Tom boy but although Taormina isn’t a pink princess wrapped up in a little bow, she is very dainty, delicate and feminine. She is definitely a little girl!
When we were trying for another baby and when we fell pregnant, I instantly wanted another girl. I knew I only wanted two children so in my head thought that this would be our last but still wanted a girl. I wanted a little sister for Taormina. Perhaps in the same way initially for our first I wanted a mini-me, this time I wanted a mini-Taormina.
The remember the 20 week scan well which was at
Kings College Hospital London and they announced it would be a boy! I wasn’t dissapointed… I was happy. I didn’t have the same Oh Shit this is real feeling this time and was just simply happy!
One thing that bugged me (ever so slightly) about having a boy was that I was hoping we could recycle some of Taormina clothes! Baby clothes are expensive. It all adds up!
I didn’t feel I grew to accept having a baby boy, I accepted it perfectly from the day we knew we’d be having a baby, but again needless to say as soon as I lay eyes on him when he popped out in the birthing pool, I had that instant love that I had for Taormina.
This sounds crazy, well this sounds crazy to me now on this current day that I’m writing this but the younger and more immature me would have wanted a boy to “continue the family name”. I am also the only boy sibling of four so in theory I am the only one to pass on the Jackson surname. Quite frankly I couldn’t give a shit about that sort of thing anymore. I happen to like my surname but what happens to the child regarding marriage etc, is down to them. Whatever they choose is their choice and what will be, will be. I look forward to it.