Father’s Day 2017 – Am I a bad son?

This will be my third fathers day and to be completely blunt, it means absolutely nothing to me. That’s just my personal take on it. I just don’t see why a day needs to be allocated to celebrate me planting a seed in my wife and carrying out a duty which I chose to.

I feel the same about various holidays and believe they have become events where the purpose is warped over the years so the meaning becomes less sentimental. Poppy even said to me she hasn’t arranged anything or bought anything. This is absolutely fine with me.

I suppose I feel my Dad should feel the same but then again he probably doesn’t. Does that make me a bad son? Perhaps. I just don’t see the point in doing something or buying something for the sake of it. Sorry Dad. It doesn’t mean I love you any less, it’s just how I feel.

Being a Dad Blogger, there certainly has been many opportunities for features, events and reviews. Many of which I have turned down as I couldn’t see the relevance to me and my life. However I have been featured in a little video by DaddiLife where I was asked if Fathers of today want different things to what our Fathers wanted. It felt relevant participating in the video because today’s Dads are very different to the older generation. You can check out the video by clicking here.

So struggling what to blog about myself, I thought I’d explore father’s day and I asked fellow UK Dad Blogger Mark Irvine who writes Thoughts of a First Time Dad, some questions about what Father’s Day meant to him.

I really wasn’t expecting the answers he gave me. Here how it went:

Mark has a one year old daughter Mara who was born 8 weeks early.

I asked Mark a few little questions.

Q. What does father’s day means to you?

A. Father’s Day gives me the opportunity to reflect a little on what it means for me to be a dad.
(I won’t call him dad, because he’s dead to me) My own hasn’t spoken to me for over 10 years so I’ll specifically take a minute to remind myself that I would never, ever treat my daughter the way he treated me and vow to be the dad she deserves, every single day.

Q. What do you expect to do or receive for father’s day:

A. I don’t expect to receive anything on Father’s Day, I’d be happy just spending the day with my wife and daughter.
However, this year I might have messed up and signed up to participate in a Tough Mudder challenge with my mate Sean. In my defence, I didn’t realise the date was Father’s Day until about a week ago! My wife isn’t too happy…

Q. What is the best thing you’ve done or received? And the worst?

A. The best Father’s Day gift I received was my daughter, at 4 months old, wearing a personalised Happy First Fathers Day Daddy vest not long after we’d got her home from SCBU (The Special Care Baby Unit)

Q. The worst?

A. Where Mara is concerned, I don’t think there could be a worst! I can’t wait until she’s bringing me something home from school that she’s made out of an old milk carton or or cereal box!! I’ll treasure it!

Q. Any tips or advice to anyone who is struggling for ideas for father’s day?

A. Everyone’s situation is different, but I would recommend just taking 10 minutes or so on your own to reflect on everything that’s you and your child or children have accomplished in the time since you became a father and look forward to what the next year has to offer.
And just have fun making new memories!

Wow. I mean wow. This really took me by surprise. I was expecting to get some very boring generic answers but what I got was something that actually made me stop a think.

I grew up with my Mum and Dad and several sisters and my parents are still together. Although we don’t see each other regularly, we still chat occasionally and there’s no bad feelings in our family.

What Mark has said has made me think that I take my relationship with my parents for granted. For whatever reason, Marks Dad hasn’t spoken to him for over 10 years. I put myself in Marks shoes and would hate for my Dad to not get in contact for 10 years and not see my children, his grandchildren grow up.

He has also pointed out that Father’s Day isn’t all about materialism, but it is about reflection. His experience with his family has made him grateful for his own family that he created and he treasures his time with them.

This little exercise which I never thought I’d get much out of has made me realise that I do take things for granted. I actually feel it is human nature to take things for granted, but this is no excuse. I feel I can get so wrapped up into what I’m doing presently, I can forget what is going on around me. I need the odd person to make me realise a few things occasionally and in this instance, I certainly have been made to realise that I need to make more of an effort towards how other people feel.

I’m going to follow Marks lead. On fathers day, by simply reflecting my time with my precious children. There’s not going to be any novelty Dad gifts. It is just going to be reflection.

As for my own Dad, I actually went out and bought him a DVD he’d enjoy. Not quite the sentimental outcome you’d expect after my interview with Mark, but it’s a start and for anyone who knows me, this little DVD gesture is actually a big deal!

Thank you Mark for answering my questions and good luck with Tough Mudder! You can check out Mark’s blog here.

The video I am featured in for DaddiLife can be viewed below and an article on their website can be read by clicking here.

 

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